With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, you may be feeling the excitement of spending time with your significant other or the dread of feeling perpetually single on the day of love. Either way, both excitement and dread can lead to a day filled with disappointments and self-deprecation. Often our expectations have a way of ruining the moment, leading to a downward spiral of questioning your relationship and your own self-worth. If you’re single this Valentine’s, you may have no expectations for the day, but you still find yourself feeling down on yourself, wondering why you have yet to attract a compatible partner. In this blog we hope to provide comfort, reminding you that you are not alone, and your feelings are a part of human nature. Luckily, there are actions you can take to help overcome these feelings. We hope to help you develop a deep sense of self-love, for that is one relationship that will last a lifetime.
Releasing Expectations
As with many holidays in North America, capitalism has taken a hold on Valentine’s Day. Stores are brimming with chocolates, flowers and heart themed stuffies that no one truly needs. There is a huge pressure to buy the perfect gift or plan the perfect date for your significant other and it can be extremely overwhelming. The day has become less about celebrating the love you share with one another and more about the value of the material gift you buy for one another. This Valentine’s, if you have a partner to celebrate with, explore releasing expectations you have relating to gifts and the day itself. Practice enjoying the moment, share a few reasons why you love your partner and reflect on the shared life experience you have together. Plan your day around enjoying each other’s company and you may notice your expectations and the material aspects of the day fade away.
Building Self-Compassion
Whether you have a partner or not this Valentine’s, one of the best ways to avoid the “Valentine’s blues” is to practice self-compassion. Our society has taught us to be hard on ourselves, constantly pushing and working harder to achieve our goals. When we fail, the pressure we put on ourselves comes crumbling down to despair, invoking negative self-talk. When we make the conscience effort to change the way we treat ourselves, it has been proven to improve our overall well-being and even increase our productivity.
When you are motivated by self-compassion, failure becomes an opportunity to learn and grow. You develop the space inside to hold all the parts of yourself, even the parts you were once ashamed or angry at. This allows you to feel at ease within yourself, creating a loving home inside your own mind and body. With this foundation of love and compassion for yourself, you may find your love easily spills over into your other relationships. This can improve the connection you have with your current partner or attract a suitable mate who loves you exactly as you are.
Minimizing Social Media
Social media can be a positive tool connecting us to friends and family all over the world. However, usually social media is a gateway towards phone addiction and the disease that is constant comparison. In terms of Valentine’s Day, it is so easy to become jealous of the relationships that other people have, whether you are single or not. The truth is social media does not show the whole story. We can never know what is truly going on in someone’s life through the lens of social media. It is important to remember that everyone has struggles and insecurities, no matter how polished their online presence makes them seem.
An easy way to avoid drowning yourself in self-pity and the endless loop of comparison is simply to avoid social media. Another option, if this does not seem feasible, is to only open social media when you are in a good headspace. Some tips for this may be to say a few kind words about yourself (bringing in that self-compassion we talked about earlier) before opening any apps. This allows you to be happy for others without tearing yourself down.
Ways to Take Care of You!
This Valentine’s Day we want to stress the importance of celebrating the relationship you have with yourself. We often overlook the importance of congratulating ourselves and fail to recognize the strength we’ve demonstrated through all our experiences. We hope to inspire you to implement and prioritize self-care on Valentine’s Day and the days to follow. Here are a few simple ways to bring self-care into your life:
- Practice mindfulness: There are many ways to practice mindfulness, and it is beneficial to try multiple methods to discover what resonates with you. It can be a simple walk outside where you focus on noticing the sounds around you, it could be a yoga or meditation practice of any length or taking a bath to clear your mind.
- Plan an activity that you love: This could look like planning a date with yourself or organizing a group activity. Reconnect with activities you once loved but now find you are too busy for.
- Call a loved one: Valentine’s can be about sharing love with all meaningful relationships in your life. You may wish to call a dear friend or a relative and express how important they are to you. This can deepen your relationships as well as lift your spirits!
Continuing Your Self-Love Practice
We hope this blog has inspired you to explore ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day by embracing self-love. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of self-love, even though overcoming limiting beliefs to truly appreciate ourselves can be incredibly challenging. If you feel you need support on your journey to self-love, we invite you to connect with our trained professionals at ATMA CENA. During our free information call, you can discuss various treatment options, including both general and psychedelic-assisted therapy. We are here to help you discover the healing path that best suits your needs. Happy Valentine’s Day! Sending love from our hearts to yours!
